Eulogy: read by Helen Ellis, Celebrant, on behalf of Rachael (23 August 2023)
Jonathan Gareth Livingston Auld was born on 20 December 1963.
His parents were John Leslie Auld and Doreen Auld. He had no siblings.
Jonathan grew up in Clarkston, Glasgow ("posh bit of Glasgow", as fellow Glaswegian George says – self-proclaimed from the "rough end").
After leaving school he started a Veterinary Medicine Degree at Glasgow University, but abandoned this and obtained a B.A. (Joint Hons) in Theatre Studies and English Literature at Glasgow.
Thereafter, he continued studying an M.Sc. in Information and Library Studies at Strathclyde.
Jonathan continued to pursue his love of art history study, whilst working as a disability advisor for various academic institutions, including the University of Cambridge, Anglia Polytechnic University and the Open University.
Prior to becoming unwell, he was working on an M.A. in Art History with the OU, and had hoped to obtain a Ph.D. eventually. Rachael often ribbed him that this PhD would constitute the world's longest period of study.
He met Rachael at the Geldart in 2009. It was a passionate relationship from the very beginning. They both shared a love of fine dining, drinking, travelling, art and music.
In late 2013 they had a period apart, and Chiara entered the world in between, but they became very close friends again and he asked her to be his next-of-kin.
Rachael was with him on admission to the ICU at Addenbrooke's in June 2022 and remained by his side until he died in her arms on 10 July 2023.
Their romance was rekindled – love always remained. And in the unlikely surroundings of the hospital, Rachael and Jonathan decided to be married at his bedside on 8 May 2023.
He then became step-father to his much-loved Chiara – Rachael’s daughter.
This quote featured on the front of their wedding's Order of Service:
"Set me as a seal upon your heart,
As a seal upon your arm;
For love is strong as death,
Passion fierce as the grave."
After his strokes, he became even more unrestrained in his use of colourful language, which generated laughter for many of us in the hospital, among the most tragic of circumstances. You can take the boy out of Glasgow ...
Regarding hobbies and interests: as you will know, there were many.
Art: Francis Bacon, the Surrealists, Klimt, Dali, Picasso, Duchamp, to name but a few. And of course Art History: his M.A. was on the work of Paul Nash.
He was also a very keen photographer and was interested in art house films – some pretty obscure ones.
As Rachael said earlier, they both enjoyed fine dining. Among his favourites: Maison Bleue and Pea Porridge in Bury St Edmunds; The Old Fire Engine House in Ely; in Cambridge: No. 22 and Fancett’s.
He did enjoy staying in a “nice hotel”. They have both stayed at Claridge’s in London; Coworth Park in Berkshire; and the pièce de résistance: Cliveden.
He loved Suffolk and spent brief spells living in Woodbridge and Bury St Edmunds. He also loved the Lake District and spent many happy summers with his parents there as a child.
Pub life: he enjoyed roaming the backstreets near his home, which are littered with good ale pubs. His absolute favourite tipple was Summer Lightning. Above all, he loved the Geldart, run by his close friend Elvis. It is most fitting, therefore, that we will raise a glass and bid farewell to Jonathan there.
His taste in music was eclectic – always a big fan of David Bowie, John Cale, Leonard Cohen ("depressing", in Jonathan's words, when asked what his music was like). Also, The Velvet Underground, Lou Reed, classical music. Celtic music was another genre he so enjoyed, introducing Rachael to the music of the band Capercaillie. And, of course, jazz.
We do have a lovely quote from his dear friend Alex:
“No matter how passionate he was about jazz, he never managed to convince me it wasn’t a massive waste of everybody’s time.”
He had a beloved cat – Josh – from many years ago. Melvyn, also from many years ago, who appeared to live in various houses in the vicinity of his home. More recently he was fond of Rachael's cat, Oshi, also.
Rachael has received so many wonderful cards and messages of love and support. They have been of enormous comfort at this sad time. She would like to say thank you very much, and for me to read out some of the tributes:
“He was such a lovely, unique guy and was – and is – sorely missed. We all had many jolly times with him over the years and life is definitely a poorer business without him.”
“Jonathan's loss is the greatest shame. It's all so sad, but it has also been such a beautiful love story that you have lived together, until the very last moment. Rest in peace, dear Jonathan. You have departed full of love. From wherever you are now, it’s your turn to look after your beloved Rachael.”
“It was a real honour to have met Jonathan, and a real challenge professionally. Despite the difficulties of his situation, it was so good to see his underlying personality come to the fore – his rejection of humbug, his dry sense of humour and sensitive use of language, his obvious capacity to find enjoyment in life and share it with others.
But particularly his great generosity of spirit and his bravery in an intolerable position – characteristics you both seem to share. He was so fortunate in having you as a partner and then wife – you managed to give him the stability and unconditional love which he appeared to have been seeking; nobody could give more.”
“I've been struggling to think of things to say, since you told me the news about Jonathan. Seeking inspiration, I trawled through old messages and memories. If nothing else, it was clear that you and he, while having some very high "ups" and some very low "downs", shared deep bonds that never quite allowed either of you to let one another go. In time, those bonds, that love, that you shared will come to be a source of comfort and happiness, difficult though that may be to believe now, when all they cause is sadness and pain.”
“One blessing is that Jonathan died knowing he would stay in your heart and that he was very loved.”
And finally, Rachael would like to extend her heartfelt thanks to the following for all their support over the last year:
Susan Pethers, Jonathan’s Advanced Specialist Speech and Language Therapist at Addenbrooke’s Hospital
Dr Huw Green, our Neuropsychologist at Addenbrooke’s Hospital
All the staff at the Lewin Stroke Rehabilitation Unit at Addenbrooke’s Hospital
All the staff at the John Farman Critical Care Unit (ICU) at Addenbrooke’s Hospital
All other Addenbrooke’s staff who cared for Jonathan in his time spent there.
She would also like to thank Elvis, Roger, Duncan and George for their practical and emotional support over the past 14 months.
And thanks, also, to everybody who is attending today’s farewell to Jonathan. It is a source of great comfort at such a distressing time.
Rachael Tuley-Auld
9th December 2023